February 23, 2016


Getting Married When Your Parents are Divorced

Your nuptials are meant to be a once in a lifetime occasion and one of the most special days of our lives. Finally finding the partner of your dreams is something to over the moon about. You can’t wait to go down the aisle and start the next phase of your life together. It’s all you’ve ever dreamed of!
But there’s a big reason many people delay holding their big day, even if they don’t like to admit it. It’s a delicate subject, but it’s an everyday occurrence in this modern world.

image credit B. Sykes
 When you come from a family where there have been divorces and separations, then you may feel awkward about your wedding day. It’s your wedding day, but other people are bound to have their own opinion and sensitivities. Even if your parents divorce is ancient history, your wedding may reopen old wounds. Watching their little girl get married is an emotional occasion. Many parents on this occasion may feel flinches of regret or wish things had turned out differently. Seeing your own child get married can be real time of reflection and emotion. This is understandable. Your baby girl whom you have loved and nurtured for all of her life is now someone else’s It’s tough for any parent. Both mothers and fathers feel this in different ways.
And what about Stepparents? Is everyone on good terms? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Sometimes there’s been past hurt on both sides and you might be wondering if everyone is going to behave. Weddings are notorious for family bickering and confrontation. It’s the last thing you need on your wedding day, so think carefully.
Gentle words.
If anyone is likely to try and cause a scene, gently tell them that this is not acceptable. If they choose not to come and take offence, then you are probably better off without them.
Once you know who’s coming you might want to think about the basics like seat planning and who’s doing what. Your Dad may be coming, but was it your Step Father who held your hand when you fell over as a kid? It’s an emotional decision, but they have to be made. What about the awkward bits though?
Where to Sit
Pick up some hints from modern wedding guides. If the church is having sides, then everyone should just put their differences away for the day and get on with it. If you really can’t have that, then consider letting people other than the principals, of course, sit where they like. This can save all manner of arguments.
Take the advice of the professionals at Weddings by JP. They’ve seen it all. Liaise with your photographer before the big day. Let him know of combinations to avoid, and point out who people are (discreetly.) Plan a list of participants of group shots well in advance if you need to keep warring relatives separate.
Seating Plan.
Take some tips from wedding venue experts DeVere. They are the venue for hundreds of weddings every year. there’s no need to have a traditional top table. Sit with your bridesmaids and best man if picking between family members is too awkward. There’s lots of ways you can get round it with a bit of careful planning!
Your wedding day is YOUR big day. Don’t let family come between you!
raising jay and abel